Live Your best Life (CHAPTER 5)

This post is the fifth of a five-part series to give you a preview of the five chapters for leaving the world of work and creating a new life of meaning and purpose. Perhaps this brief overview will help you along the way if you are considering shaking things up in your current situation and moving to a future you may not see right now. ​

In chapter one, Mine the Past, we explored the process of stopping the action and taking stock of where you have been, what you want/need to leave behind, especially as it relates to your definition of success, the identity that enabled that success, and beliefs and mental models about what has meaning and purpose for you.

In chapter two, Assess Current Reality, we showed how to take took a hard look at current reality so that you have an accurate starting point for your journey. This includes an honest assessment of where you are currently. How well are you navigating this transition (with input from trusted observers)? How would you rate your health and wellbeing, relationships, and activities that enliven you? What is your current life purpose and how does it need to change? Are your values serving you or do they need to be refined?

In chapter 3, Chart the Course, you’ve done the groundwork, but this can be the messy middle part of the journey, fraught with hesitation, procrastination, and refusal to let go. Knowing how to navigate this tricky part and how to begin the process of mapping out your vision for your future and the supporting goals to get there can take time. This chapter takes courage and faith and is a necessary, if sometimes uncomfortable part of the process.

In chapter 4, Neutralize the Barriers, we discussed the internal the obstacles encountered as we move from the messy middle to having a clearly charted course and into your new beginning. This post highlights the advances in neuroscience that enable us to learn to rewire our brains so that we can move into new ways of being and behaving.

Imagine you have worked hard to navigate these four chapters and next is...

Chapter Five!! Live YOur Best Life!!

So now here you are, jumping for joy, celebrating the first weeks of retirement… no emails, planning trips, and living large. YAY!! You’ve done the hard work of assessing, envisioning, planning, and and you are beginning to feel like you can do this. You have a new mindset!  Of course, everyone handles this type of transition differently and at their own pace, but most people move in and out of the messy middle at some point in the early days and months of this fifth chapter. It’s good to know and accept that self-doubt and even regret can rear their ugly heads just when you think you’ve moved on.

The antidote to anything that threatens to knock you off course is two-fold:

1. As soon as possible, organize your support structure. Many successful people suffer from the "I got this" syndrome and fail to ask for needed support from a caring friend, loved one, or professional (therapist or coach). Let each member of your support team know what specific support you would like, e.g., accountability, mentoring, or just a listening ear. Acknowledging your fears and self-doubts and share them with a trusted member of your support team takes courage, but the payoffs are huge.
2. Assess where you are lacking structures in your life that can help keep your intention and focus on the long term goal of a fulfilling next chapter of your life. 

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                     “Structure drives behavior.”                        
- Robert Fritz

The banks of this river provide the structure within which it flows, even when it is a meandering route. Unless the banks are re-engineered, the energy of the flowing water will forever follow the existing path—and so will we! The key is to have structures whose path of least resistance is taking you where you want to go—to your desired future.

Here are some examples of structures you might use to keep you on course:

• Going to the gym or taking daily walks with a workout buddy who shares a mutual commitment and will be an accountability partner.
• Develop a routine that takes into consideration the science behind forming desired new habits. James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits, is an excellent resource for this. Again, an accountability partner helps here.
• Join organizations or groups whose missions you are passionate about and commit to scheduled, regular participation.
• Plan each week out on Sunday and calendar a fun, interesting, or meaningful activity each day, with others you enjoy, if possible. (Isolation may derail you, even if you are an introvert!).
• Journal about what’s working well for you and what’s not working less well and take action to find more “well’s” and eliminate the “less well’s.”

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​And before you know it, like my former client Susan, you will find yourself wondering why you waited so long. You will be at peace without your previous status, achievements, and accolades. Like Susan, you will meet new people (or even old friends) and never even mention your previous life. You will have too many exciting things you are learning and experiencing to share to revisit the past. You will hold your next chapter, your best chapter, in the palm of your hands. 
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"You have a destination far beyond where you find yourself standing today."
- Guy Finley.

​And this is only the beginning!!

If you are in the last third of life and you've been struggling with the idea of how to thrive without your business or career, don't spend another minute in self-doubt or anxiety! For a no pressure 30 minute clarity call with Rebecca, please click HERE.