Live Your best Life (CHAPTER 5)
This post is the fifth of a five-part series to give you a preview of the five chapters for leaving the world of work and creating a new life of meaning and purpose. Perhaps this brief overview will help you along the way if you are considering shaking things up in your current situation and moving to a future you may not see right now.
In chapter one, Mine the Past, we explored the process of stopping the action and taking stock of where you have been, what you want/need to leave behind, especially as it relates to your definition of success, the identity that enabled that success, and beliefs and mental models about what has meaning and purpose for you.
In chapter two, Assess Current Reality, we showed how to take took a hard look at current reality so that you have an accurate starting point for your journey. This includes an honest assessment of where you are currently. How well are you navigating this transition (with input from trusted observers)? How would you rate your health and wellbeing, relationships, and activities that enliven you? What is your current life purpose and how does it need to change? Are your values serving you or do they need to be refined?
In chapter 3, Chart the Course, you’ve done the groundwork, but this can be the messy middle part of the journey, fraught with hesitation, procrastination, and refusal to let go. Knowing how to navigate this tricky part and how to begin the process of mapping out your vision for your future and the supporting goals to get there can take time. This chapter takes courage and faith and is a necessary, if sometimes uncomfortable part of the process.
In chapter 4, Neutralize the Barriers, we discussed the internal the obstacles encountered as we move from the messy middle to having a clearly charted course and into your new beginning. This post highlights the advances in neuroscience that enable us to learn to rewire our brains so that we can move into new ways of being and behaving.
Imagine you have worked hard to navigate these four chapters and next is...
Chapter Five!! Live YOur Best Life!!
So now here you are, jumping for joy, celebrating the first weeks of retirement… no emails, planning trips, and living large. YAY!! You’ve done the hard work of assessing, envisioning, planning, and and you are beginning to feel like you can do this. You have a new mindset! Of course, everyone handles this type of transition differently and at their own pace, but most people move in and out of the messy middle at some point in the early days and months of this fifth chapter. It’s good to know and accept that self-doubt and even regret can rear their ugly heads just when you think you’ve moved on.
The antidote to anything that threatens to knock you off course is two-fold:
“Structure drives behavior.”
- Robert Fritz
The banks of this river provide the structure within which it flows, even when it is a meandering route. Unless the banks are re-engineered, the energy of the flowing water will forever follow the existing path—and so will we! The key is to have structures whose path of least resistance is taking you where you want to go—to your desired future.
Here are some examples of structures you might use to keep you on course:
And before you know it, like my former client Susan, you will find yourself wondering why you waited so long. You will be at peace without your previous status, achievements, and accolades. Like Susan, you will meet new people (or even old friends) and never even mention your previous life. You will have too many exciting things you are learning and experiencing to share to revisit the past. You will hold your next chapter, your best chapter, in the palm of your hands.
"You have a destination far beyond where you find yourself standing today."
- Guy Finley.
And this is only the beginning!!
If you are in the last third of life and you've been struggling with the idea of how to thrive without your business or career, don't spend another minute in self-doubt or anxiety! For a no pressure 30 minute clarity call with Rebecca, please click HERE.
Neutralize the Barriers (CHAPTER 4)
This article is the fifth in a series describing the process of a successful transition. If you are in the last third of your life and thinking about ending your current career or selling your successful business, but not sure what you’re going to do or how you’re going to do it, this series will guide your thinking and perhaps give you your best next step/s. If you have been reading the 4 previous posts in this series you have had a brief overview of the 5 Chapters for making your next chapter your best chapter and learned how to let go of the past, see the present clearly, and chart a course for the future. You may read the previous four posts HERE if you missed them and would like to start at the beginning.
In this chapter we will explore ways to neutralize the inevitable blocks and barriers that are bound to arise as you make this significant shift.
Chart the course (Chapter 3)
This article is the fourth in a series describing the process of a successful transition as you rewrite your life story. If you are in the last third of your life and thinking about ending your current career or selling your successful business, but not sure what you’re going to, this series will guide your thinking and perhaps give you your best next step/s. You will learn how to let go of the past, see the present clearly, chart a course for the future, neutralize whatever is standing in the way, and create a sustainable structure for making your next chapter your best chapter.
You may read the previous three posts HERE if you missed them and would like to start at the beginning.
Assess Current Reality (Chapter 2)
In my Mine the Past post, I introduced the first of the five-chapter process for living your best chapter. Mining the Past is where you uncover those golden nuggets to help you build a sturdy, stable bridge from the past to the present and into the future. And that brings us to the second step - Assessing Current Reality (AKA the present).
Mine the Past (Chapter One)
My last post described the 5 Chapters that help people in transition make the next chapter their best chapter. This is the first of a five-part series to describe those chapters and perhaps help you along the way if you are considering shaking things up in your current situation and moving to a future you can’t see right now.
*If you have an impatient clicking finger, please do read down to Chapter Four. That’s where the magic happens!!
If you haven’t heard from me in a while, it’s because I have been having a blast helping clients who are in major transitions go from where they are to where they would rather be. Some are retiring and others are hitting the pause button to shape-shift into a new career/role. In both cases we are co-creating a plan and process for them to make their next chapter their best chapter.
1 | Remember Who You Are:
You were born for this moment. Leadership is hard—but you can do hard. You’ve been through challenging times before and you’ve always come out stronger on the other side.
2 | Put Your Own Oxygen Mask on First:
If you don’t take care of yourself, who will? Remember that you have the choice to be your own best friend or your own worst enemy every day. Do the basic things that keep you healthy and sane: drink plenty of water, eat healthy, exercise, sleep. Repeat.
3 | Center Yourself When You Are Afraid or Anxious:
Fear is a natural response to continued uncertainty, chaos, and a sense of being out of control. The best thing you can do to center yourself is to take 5 slow deep breaths in this rhythm: inhale to the count of 3, pause to the count of 3, then do a complete, forceful exhalation to the count of 6. Done regularly (hourly) this breathing exercise will literally change your body chemistry and begin to build your immune response.
4 | Make Gratitude a Practice:
Start every morning with gratitude. Don’t allow yourself to get out of bed until you have thought of one thing you’re grateful for. Before you go to sleep at night, think of 3 things that happened today that you are grateful for. If you can, think of different things so it doesn’t get boring. This simple little exercise has the power to change how you go through your day and settle you down for peaceful, relaxed, and much-needed sleep at night.
5 | When You’re Uncertain About the Future: Our world has been so topsy turvy and no “new normal” in sight, it’s easy to get in a tailspin worrying about the what if’s. When we live in worry, we are cheating ourselves out of mental clarity, presence, and above all, joy. Worry not only undermines our resilience, but our immune response as well.
6 | Prevent Overwhelm by Creating Routine:
When you’re feeling overwhelmed it helps to simplify your life. The more choices and decisions you have to make, the messier it feels.
7 | Think, don’t Act:
When things feel frantic, it’s even more important to focus on the horizon. Take 5 deep breaths. Connect with your values, your vision, your purpose. And only then take action.
8 | Indecision is Making a Decision:
There’s always less stress on the other side of a decision. Not deciding is probably costing you more anguish than making a decision you fear. So make a decision!
9 | Limit Input Toxicity:
The news is literally designed to scare you—because you keep watching and they get paid. And your email inbox is other people’s To Do list. Limit your media intake to once a day and check email only at 4 intervals during the day. Save the rest of your time for consuming healthy input and improving your healthy output.
10 | Take the Long View:
This too shall pass. We all have to work on present challenges, and yet it’s wise to begin to plan ahead. There’s always a new normal after a crisis. Begin to plan ahead for exceptional client service.